Gibberish To Me
by TacticianZephine
Summary: Easter fic in which the five remaining NEST soldiers organize an egg hunt. Crack ensues. This is kind of a cracky holiday fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Gah, I'm so late D: Oh well, this is still an Easter fic, since I've uploaded nothing in forever.**

**Yeah. R&R, please?**

**Really late - Happy Easter, everyone.**

* * *

"Hey guys! We've got a surprise for you!"

The entire Rec. Room looked up, ten pairs of optics looking toward the five humans.

Prowl was the first to speak. "What is this surprise?"

"Well, since we're all stuck here for Easter, we set up a good old-fashioned Easter egg hunt," Lennox grinned.

"What is this 'Easter'?" Sudo asked.

"It's hard to explain. Can't someone look it up?"

"Ember?" Optimus looked to his Head of Intelligence.

"Searching..." Ember's optics flashed white, before returning to violet. "Easter: a Christian feast holiday celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ on the third day after his crucifixion."

"... That's gibberish to me," Ironhide griped. "Never understood human spirituality."

"Christianity is very much like our belief system, Ironhide," Optimus pointed out. "It's the other belief systems I can never seem to understand..."

"Judaism and Islam are similar," Ember said, her optics white again. "Buddhism and Hinduism do not seem to be related. Wicca is a nature religion which is based on both a god and a goddess. Satanism appears to be a belief system centered upon an individual's own desires and as for Scientology, they appear to believe that an alien created the human race. I cannot be certain if that is the case, however-"

"How about you just find us non-religious results for Easter, Em?" Prowl interrupted.

"Searching... A holiday celebrated in the springtime, marked by the myth of the 'Easter Bunny', an imaginary rabbit said to bring gifts, and/or candy, to children on Easter. He is said to hide plastic eggs filled with small prizes for the children to find. These are known as 'Easter eggs', and the search for them is known as the Easter Egg Hunt."

"... You want us to look for little plastic eggs?" Ratchet said, not looking thrilled.

"That seems to be what it boils down to," Wheeljack assessed.

"Come on, it'll be fun!" Lennox grinned. "Please, just humor us. I can't be with Annabelle, Olsyn can't be with his little girl, let us have a little parental fun here?"

"... Alright. Everyone, humor the humans," Optimus decided.

"Cool! Meet us outside in half an hour, we'll get things ready."


	2. Chapter 2

**You guys FINALLY get Omega's holoform, and he is SO CUTE! I love him so much -happyface-**

* * *

They stood in a line in holoform as they were handed baskets. They'd humored the humans by dressing themselves nicely, but casually.

Elita and Chromia had chosen pastel dresses of their signature colors: orange and blue with ponytails and white sandals. Ember had even taken a break from her usual black by choosing a purple dress, black sandals, and twin braids.

The older males selected dress shirts and ties over jeans and their usual shoes: red with an orange tie for Optimus, gray with a blue tie for Ironhide, yellow with a pink tie for Ratchet, pink with a yellow bowtie for Wheeljack, and blue with no tie for Perceptor.

Prowl had donned a white shirt with the sleeves cuffed at the elbows, hanging open over a white t-shirt with jeans, and in place of a tie, he wore a purple belt. Sudo was wearing a green Polo and jeans. But Omega Supreme was the absolute cutest of all of them.

Omega's holoform was a hulk of a person, standing at about 7'6" and probably weighing in at close to three hundred, but with the sweetest baby face ever seen on someone that size, with big blue eyes and hair the color of a wild rabbit. They'd found him a pair of khakis and a pastel pink sweatervest to wear over a white shirt cuffed at his elbows.

"I feel ridiculous," Ironhide complained, taking his basket.

"Oh Ironhide, where is your spirit?" Ember asked. She stood beside Omega, as she would be helping him look for eggs.

"Don't even pretend you're at all interested in this."

"I actually am, truthfully."

The humans, Olsyn, Grahmn, Lennox, Elroy and Daniels, looked them over. "Okay, there's ninety eggs, that's nine for everyone."

"... Major Grahmn, there are eleven of us?" Elita said.

"Ember and Omega count as one entity," Lennox corrected. "First one to come back with their nine eggs wins. Okay, guys, go on!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Yeah... Em got a moment of badaft.**

* * *

Ember spotted a pink egg atop a training obstacle and tugged Omega's sleeve. "Look there, Omega, sweetspark."

Omega saw the egg and toddled over. Upon finding he was too short to reach, he looked down at Ember and then pointed up to it. It was the cityscape, so the buildings were twenty plus feet. Ember, knowing she couldn't reach it from his shoulders, thought of a plan.

"... Lock your fingers and brace yourself, Omega."

He did so, watching the female jog backward a set distance. He knew what she was doing, it was a move he'd seen the Autobots do for centuries.

"Ready?" she called.

He nodded.

Ember sprinted toward him, acheiving proper lift via his interlocked fingers and swinging over the rail. She retrieved the egg and looked over the rail. "Ready to catch me?" she called down.

Omega nodded and set down the basket. He held out his arms. She got up on the railing, and prepared to jump.

Right as she did, Omega spotted something out of the corner of his eye, and turned his body to look for it. Upon seeing it fully, he ran after it.

Ember saw him run, and tried to adjust herself to either land on her feet or go into a tumble of some sort. She landed into a roundoff-back-handspring, grabbing Omega's basket and running after him.

They were seven eggs in, and Omega was chasing... what was that?


	4. Chapter 4

Ember finally caught up to Omega, who was still chasing his target. She put the handle of the basket in her mouth and jumped onto his back, holding on for dear life as the colossus ran. She knew that her weight was nothing to him, and he'd barely notice, but it was the safest way to keep up.

"Omega! Slow down!"

He said nothing, intent on his goal, as he chased it back to the start of the egg hunt.

_At least I found his final two eggs for him_, she reconciled in her own mind. _It seems as if those quartexes on the moosebot farm will pay off_.

**  
Prowl was bored. He'd found his nine eggs already, but really wasn't interested in the competition. He occasionally gave hints to his comrades that actually cared, pointing out eggs he'd seen laying around but weren't sure if they were there still.

The humans had been a little predictable in their hiding places, had they not figured he would figure out their patterns?

He spotted a large figure moving around the compound. A scan told him it wasn't human, but what was it? He did the most unwise thing possible: approached it.

It spotted him and ran for it, taking large, leaping strides, headed for the start of the egg hunt.

Prowl took off after it, unsure of what it could possibly be. What if it was a Decepticon? He had to chase it down.

"What the Pit is that thing?" he wondered aloud to no one in particular.

And how had no one else seen it?


	5. Chapter 5

Omega, Ember, Prowl and their quarries arrived at the start at about the same time, technically coming in third and fourth in the contest after Wheeljack and Sudo.

The resulting pileup consisted of Omega tackling the figure Prowl sought, throwing Ember off his back and smack into Will, knocking him over, and Prowl colliding with Omega's target.

Ironhide, Optimus, Elita, and Chromia jogged over next, setting their baskets down to help their comrades up. "What happened?" Optimus asked immediately.

"Well, Omega found-"

"I saw a figure moving across the compound-"

Omega murmured something inaudible.

"-and when he caught up, we ran into Prowl and-"

"-and I ran into this thing-"

"BUNNY!" Omega finally shouted insistently, pouncing on his original quarry.

Everyone shut up and looked at the two figures. One was a large robotic rabbit, the other, currently being assaulted by Omega, was more "real". Both were white.

"What the..."

Ratchet and Perceptor appeared. "What the Pit are those things?"

"Rabbits," Prowl and Ember responded dully.

"How-"

"Wheeljack, isn't that your invention?"

"... Well, yeah..."

Everyone shut up and looked at Wheeljack. Finally, Prowl dared to speak. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Look, I read up on Earth myths and-"

"Nyep!" Prowl said loudly, holding up a hand. "If Prime, Em, Colonel Lennox and I don't know, you can't be penalized."

"Wait, but if that one is Wheeljack's robot..." Optimus looked at the "real" bunny, which had escaped Omega and was getting shakily to its feet. "Then... that's... that's..."

"Ahem, the Easter Bunny, sir?" Ember said quickly and sweetly, glancing from Optimus to Omega. "It is the Easter Bunny, yes?"

"Oh, um, yes." Optimus pulled his niece closer to himself and muttered in J'nwanese. "_Kindly remove Omega from the area, I will have Prowl tell you who's the 'Easter Bunny'_."

Ember nodded. "Omega, dear, how about we go back into your hangar?" she said, taking the giant's hand.

"Tired," Omega decided, letting Ember lead him away.

Everyone looked at the bunny, who was tugging on his own head and muttering curses under his breath.

Lennox burst out laughing. "I think he's stuck!" he roared, doubling over.

"Screw you!" Epps' voice yelled from inside the bunny head.

"Sergeant Epps?" Optimus said tentatively.

"Yeah, it's me. Can someone help me get this off?"

Ironhide grabbed the head and Optimus grabbed Epps around the middle. "Ready, Ironhide?"

"Ready, Prime. Epps?"

"Yeah, just pull."

Both mechs pulled in separate directions, eventually freeing their human comrade from his fluffy white prison. "How in the world did Will convince you to do this?"

"I owed him money... and now I don't."


End file.
